What is the best gift for Mother’s Day?

Did you have a nice Mother’s Day celebration this year, with breakfast in bed, flowers, hand-drawn cards, and the works?  When the kiddies are small, they are so enthusiastic about celebrating the day with you that you can hear them in the kitchen busy cooking up something special at 6 am.  You try to calm your urge to go see what mess they are making or not to worry about how much cleaning up would be required after the celebration!  To be really honest, I think many of us, mothers, have this secret wish to celebrate our special day by just sleeping in and having a non-eventful relaxing day!

Photo courtesy of @suelen_cantelli

Supermom

It was only after becoming a mom of two little girls did I realize the mental and physical strength required to provide and maintain a stable and safe haven for them to grow up.  I am a natural-born worrier (not warrior, oh how I wish!) and I like to plan ahead with everything so that I have to worry “less”, which I think in the end makes me worry more?  So, getting all the daily routines in place, and making sure birthday parties and extra-curricular activities run smoothly as planned, took up a lot of energy both mentally and physically.   Having a full-time job AND building a start-up company while doing all that certainly did not make things easier, especially during our daughters’ infant and toddler years.  Thinking back on those days, they were my driving force, the thought of getting huge welcome hugs from them when I got home from work helped me get through every day.  They made me feel like I had superpowers to keep everything going despite how exhausted I felt! 

Mothers should not be martyrs

I think of my mom every Mother’s Day, of how she always put her husband’s and her children’s needs before her own.  The lost opportunity to pursue her own interests or having her personal time took a toll on her years later.  Realizing maybe many fellow mothers are heading towards the same path makes me wonder if this is the only way to being a “good” mother?  Is there a more balanced approach where we can turn this into a WIN-WIN situation?   I can’t agree more with this article written by Kelsey Borresen on how good mothers don’t need to be martyrs.   Mothers of our generation are being piled on (both by ourselves and society in general) with a lot more expectations to be qualified as a “good” mom.  The feeling of failure or guilt is overwhelming whenever we don’t manage to live up to those expectations.

Let’s set a good example

It probably takes big efforts to break through this sense of duty and guilt whenever we want to put ourselves first for just one second and take a breather from it all.  But it is also essential that we take care of ourselves to rejuvenate our mind and body from the demanding daily tasks, so we can be there for our kids whenever they need us most.  In my case, I would like to also set a good example for my daughters to be a “balanced” mom who takes care of both her family AND herself.  Hopefully, if they become mothers one day, their idea of being a “good” mother would be a less sacrificial one.

Stay Sparky, Moms!